Moms are caring and kind people, but also vulnerable and anxious. Sometimes they can't stand it and yell at their children for various reasons. More often moms yell to vent their pain. But after yelling, it does not disappear, and it is added to it and the feeling of guilt. Here are some tips on how not to raise your voice at children.
Take time for yourself
A mom who is tired, hungry, sleep deprived, worried about something will raise her voice faster than a rested and happy mom. It's a fact. And strangely enough, before you take care of the child's psyche, you need to take care of yourself. For example, while the child is in class, you can give up some of the household chores and do what you like or just sleep for a couple of hours.
Finding the true cause of anger and irritation
A child did not do his homework. Mom could not help, as she was busy with the report until the evening. Then the real reason for the screaming may be related to the boss who delayed at work or to the child's lack of independence.
Some psychologists say that those who have more responsibility shout more often. Perhaps you should delegate some of your responsibilities to your loved ones.
Putting yourself in the child's shoes
He soiled his jeans because he was having fun playing hide and seek and lost his phone because he was in a hurry to get home. Children are also ashamed and unpleasant from the misbehavior and they very much need understanding, support. It is better to give advice on how to correct what the child has done. This is more valuable than shouting.
"See" your anger
Psychologist Ludmila Petranovskaya advises to recognize the presence of anger, imagine it as if it is lying in the palm of your hand. Anger can be prickly, black, shapeless, or it can flare up like a fire. On the other palm, let the cause of the anger appear. Can it be eliminated without using anger? Of course, yes. Then all that remains is to blow the anger off the palm of your hand and go and talk quietly with your son or daughter.
Introduce other people around
If in the midst of screaming mothers saw their neighbors or colleagues at work, it is unlikely that they would continue to talk to their children in such a tone. Even if you just see an angry face in the mirror, you can quickly return to reality.
Use playful methods
For example, swearing in a funny voice, making grimaces or speaking in the voice of a cartoon character. Some psychologists recommend scolding a doll.
